Bull or Heifer | AFCC Devotional 
For the past several years my husband has gone and helped people day work. His favorite thing in the world is to ride a good horse, with some good cowboys, and drag calves. My husband is also the cowboy pastor of our church and he shows a lot of excitement for two things: telling people about Jesus and dragging calves. This is what he is called to do and God has wildly blessed us. But, to be honest, I have not always shared in my husband’s calling or passion. To wake up at 4 am, get three kids up and ready to drive 1.5 hours to watch my husband ride his horse and work cattle didn’t seem too exciting to me. Sure, I didn’t mind him going and enjoying himself. I supported his passion and I think he appreciated the fact that I didn’t mind him going, but deep down he wanted more out of me. He wanted me to share in his passion. What does sharing this passion look like?
For the past two years, we have gone to help our friends at the Thurmond Ranch work calves over Memorial Day weekend. When I say “we”, I mean my husband, me, and our three kids who are eight, six, and four years old. The first year we went, I actually drove separately with our kids and met the cowboys at the draggin’ pen. My goal was to stand outside the pen and visit with some other wives while the men got the work done…you know, to be a supportive wife. But, before I knew it, I had an ear tagger in one hand and a bunch of pink and blue ear tags in the other and I was given the job of tagging the calves.
The next year, I got up when my husband did and we all left as a family. Again, I was the designated ear tagger. I was extremely nervous but then decided to relax, do my best, and enjoy the day. At the start of the day, my husband, Beau, noticed that I couldn’t keep up and gave me pointers on how to do the job more efficiently. He taught me how to watch as the calves were being drug to us to see if it was a heifer or a bull, so I knew which color tag to use before the calf ever got to me.
After that, the guys never had to wait on me again. They even let me try my hand at dragging a few and my husband took the tagger. It was a great day. As the day went on I could tell my husband was filled with so much joy to have his wife and family actively involved in something he loved.
My passion on the other hand is running, and to be honest, Beau is my number one fan. He encourages me to be the best that I can be. He watches the kids so I can go run with friends or in a race. He comes and cheers me on and encourages me to do whatever I need to get better. He doesn’t whine about the money we spend going to doctors so that I can remain healthy and be able to run. He doesn’t just support me and send me on my way, he shares in my joy and my passion.
This transition from playing a supportive role to becoming a shared role has also taken place in our church. We started a cowboy church four years ago. I have always been, or at least tried to be, a supportive pastor’s wife. I am at most all events the church puts on, do my time in the nursery, help lead the women’s ministry—you know, what some would say are the “pastor’s wife’s duties”.
However, I learned this wasn’t necessarily what showed my husband that I shared the ministry with him. My husband often felt he was doing ministry alone. Sure, I was there physically supporting him, but how was I sharing the spiritual and emotional side of ministry with him? I needed to learn that if your husband is called to the ministry, you as a wife are also called. Slowly but surely, and after many nights filled with heartfelt conversations about Beau’s feeling alone and me feeling I was doing my duty, I began to ask God to help me share in our calling and God has changed me.
I’ve taken myself off of the nursery schedule so I can be more involved in other areas and I’ve learned to inquire more about my husband’s sermons, pray for him more, provide feedback and ideas, and even help him teach some. I am not a gifted teacher, it’s not my “spiritual gift”. However, I have learned that as the pastor’s wife, I have the most influential female voice in our church and that the ladies in our church actually want to hear my side of things, or how this particular topic can apply to them.
I have helped my husband teach on marriage and relationships; I’ve taught on Mother’s Day; and from Beau’s feedback to me, he has never felt more loved and supported in our ministry than now. My sharing in ministry has brought my husband and me closer as a couple, and the Lord has blessed our relationship and our church even more!
For you, it may be that your husband is a rancher and he works long days or hours upon hours trying to make a living. Or maybe your family farms and he is in the tractor all day trying to produce the best crop he can to put food on not only your table but the tables of America. I believe the Lord wants us to share our spouse’s calling and be our spouse’s number one fan, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually!
You may not be able to rope and drag calves, but you learn to tag them. You may not even like to ride a horse, but you can help get them saddled and ready to go to the arena or hook the trailer up to the truck. What is your spouse’s calling? What does your spouse enjoy doing and how can you begin to share in his or her passion? This looks different for everyone and also changes with the seasons in our lives. When our children were smaller, it was harder for me to share in Beau’s passion for draggin’ calves, or even speaking in church for that matter—and that was ok. But as our kids have grown, I’ve been able to join in and share more of what Beau loves and what we have been called to.
We’ve learned that life is a balance and God has called us to share each other’s calling in whatever way we can. So here is the question you may want to ask yourself: “Am I supportive of my spouse’s calling or passion or am I sharing it?” Maybe you need to learn how to tell whether it’s a bull or a heifer coming at you and get in the pen!
Photo by Bailey Alexander on Unsplash
This article appears in issue 75 of The Hungry Loop. Want to stay in the loop? Become a member at any level to receive the newsletter! Join up at wrca.org/membership.